Wearing these babies at work today with new trouser jeans from Express. My butt looks crazy good as a result. There isn’t really a point in that, though. Sometimes I feel really defensive when I wear heels, like people are judging me for not being dressed appropriately. But if I don’t wear them at this point in my life, when will I ever wear them?

Well. I own some shoes. And some boots that aren’t even pictured.

STILTS

SHOES

When I opened the box to these, I heard Chiwetel Ejiofor’s RED rant from Kinky Boots in my head. They photograph a nice red but they aren’t quite as red in person.

Burgundy. Please, God, tell me I’ve not inspired something burgundy. Red. Red. RED. RED. Charlie boy. Rule one. Red…… is the colour of SEX. Burgundy is the colour of hot water bottles. Red is the colour of sex and fear and danger and signs that say, “Do Not Enter...” All of my favourite things in life.

I still love them! They’re just different from what I expected.

4.5 inches baby

Emotional online shopping…