Inception: A riddle wrapped in a puzzle wrapped in an egg salad sandwich

The end-all-be-all of spoiler-free Inception reviews, courtesy of Olde English Sketch Comedy’s own Raphael Bob-Waksberg, via boringoldraphael.

…Did you know if you play Inception backwards, IT’S EXACTLY THE SAME?

Did you know that if you stay after the credits, there’s a bonus scene of Leonardo DiCaprio walking in on Patrick Duffy in the shower?

Inception is like an onion because it has layers, but it’s also like an onion because maybe it will make you cry but probably it won’t. ALSO, it’s like an onion because an onion too would completely waste the talents of its female cast, if onions had casts, and also I would not complain if you put Inception in my omelet. DID YOU NOTICE HOW MY ONION METAPHOR HAD LAYERS? My onion metaphor was like an onion. OR DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND?

If only Inception had come out ten years earlier. I’m not saying that if the Taliban had seen this movie maybe they wouldn’t hate America so much and it could have prevented September 11th, but, well, I guess I’m not exactly NOT saying it, and I’ve yet to see the point refuted anywhere else, so I choose to take everyone else’s pointed silence on this matter as an implicit agreement.

Inception is the reason the new iPhones don’t work. Inception is why sometimes you get lonely for no reason.

Here is a list of other things Inception is:

• a baby
• a paradox
• a clock
• a series of little Russian dolls inside of little Russian dolls inside of little Russian dolls inside of dolls
• a window looking into a store that sells windows
• nectar milked from the nipples of Zeus himself
• a movie, about inceptors, incepting things
• spooooooooky!
• a house of leaves
• a probing journey into the depths of the human soul
• like Science of Sleep, but with guns
• a thneed

In fact, Inception is everything. Remember that movie Killers, with Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl? Remember the time you ran to catch up to your older brother and you tripped and skinned your knee and he could never understand why that made you cry so much? Remember when you read this blog post about Inception? All those things were part of Inception.

In fact, there is only one thing that ISN’T Inception. Ready? It’s Inception. What?

WHAT?!

Inception.